A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
