Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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