I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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