I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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