this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
