btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize