Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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