Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
