I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
