i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
