me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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