There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
