I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Someone came in the potted fern
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
