school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
