And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
