after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Drake has all the answers
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
