The maid of honor just puked.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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