my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
