Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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