We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize