you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize