Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
40s are totally the cure
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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