Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
