just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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