i permit you to call me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
