Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I will pee on everything he values.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
