Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
