I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
