Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
