WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
