Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
