I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Your cock deserves a montage
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
