Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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