If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
