How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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