Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
