How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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