I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
