mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
