I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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