You really coming over, don't trick.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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