so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I understand Curling. That high.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
