I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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