I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
