Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
