i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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