I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
