If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
