hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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