I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
