i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
